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The Knew York Times

The only honest bestseller list — where the rankings are bought and everybody knows it.

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Satire notice: The Knew York Times is a satirical platform and is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to The New York Times Company. Rankings are determined by bid amount, not editorial judgment or sales data.

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© 2026 The Knew York Times. All rights reserved. Placement on our lists is not an endorsement of literary quality. But you already knew that.

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How It Works

Other best seller lists pretend money isn't involved. We skip that part. Here's exactly how the sausage gets made.

1. Add Your Book

Sign up, upload your cover, write a description, pick your genre(s), and drop in a purchase link. Yes, you can list in multiple genres. Hedge your bets.

2. Place a Bid

Pick a genre and bid at least $3.00. We save your card and charge $0 today. Bidding closes Sunday at 11:59 PM PT, so plan your weekend accordingly.

3. Rankings Are Calculated

Bids are tallied Sunday night and the new Best Sellers list goes live the following Monday. The 15 highest bids per genre earn a spot, and the top 15 site-wide grace the Overall list. Meritocracy, redefined.

4. You Only Pay If You Place

Didn’t crack the top 15? You are not charged. We only charge the card on file when you place. Think of it as a consolation prize for your wallet.

Additional Features

Recurring Bids

Too busy writing your next masterpiece to remember bidding day? Set it and forget it. We place the bid each week with the card on file, and charge it only if you place.

Weeks on List

Hold your spot across multiple weeks and earn a "weeks on list" badge. Just like the real thing, except we admit how it got there.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I bid in multiple genres?

Absolutely. List your book in as many genres as you like and bid separately in each. Diversify your portfolio, as they say in finance.

Can I see other bids?

Nope. Bidding is blind, so you can't see what others bid and they can't see yours. It's like poker, but for literary prestige.

When am I charged?

Monday morning, when the list locks, and only if your bid places in a genre's top 15. If it doesn't place, you are not charged. If the card is declined, that bid drops and you're emailed to update it. You are not on the list.

Can I cancel a bid?

Cold feet? Cancel any pending bid before Monday's ranking. You were not charged, so there is nothing to refund. No hard feelings.

What's the minimum bid?

Just $3.00 per genre per week. There's no maximum, so dream big (or bid big, same thing here).

Does bidding guarantee placement?

No. Only the top 15 bids per genre make the cut each week. If your bid doesn't crack the list, you are not charged — so think of it as a risk-free gamble on your literary ego. We also can't guarantee that being on the list will sell a single copy of your book. But it'll look great on your author website.

What if someone else bids the same book?

If two people bid the same book (same ISBN) in the same genre, we keep the higher bid. The lower one is not charged. Only one version of your masterpiece per genre per week — we have standards. Sort of.

Ready to Buy Some Prestige?

Sign up, list your book, and place your first bid. Best seller status is just a credit card transaction away.

Create Account